Archive for June, 2008
Firefox 3
Author: LeeJun 20
So I upgraded to Firefox 3, because, well, I wanted to see how it was, how it worked, all that stuff. I love my firefox and hate hate HATE when I ever have to open IE, though I keep it as the just in case browser. So far, I like, though it’s going to take some adjusting to. My only issue… some of the school sites aren’t compatible. I’m going to find this for awhile, aren’t I??
Woo!
Author: LeeJun 20
So I’m finally getting up with some of the awesome technology that’s out there! I installed the WordPress.com Stats, because while I have a stats site that keeps track of cool things for me (like incoming links, what city people who are reading are from, etc) I’d like a lot of that in the Dashboard/Admin area.
I also got the mobile interface WPhone for this site, so that I can use my phone to check cool things and write entries while not in front of a computer. The one on my phone isn’t nearly as pretty as the screenshots, but it works! And that makes me happy panda!
Days like this, when I’ve spent most of the day sitting on my ass bored out of my mind, I’m glad for small victories!
Reactions
Author: LeeJun 20
When someone is feeling down, or even depressed, I’m never entirely sure how to react. Sometimes what they want is just someone to listen to them bitch. Other times (and these seem to crop up equally as often as the bitch-fest sessions) they want advice as though I’m a therapist.
I also don’t often get to see the boy for more than a day and a half at a time. It just so happens that the distance, gas prices and the ever poorness of a student keeps us from being able to go through the “spend every waking minute together” phase. Most of the time this is okay, but sometimes… sometimes this is very trying. So when the boy offered to drive up to come see me after I had spend the previous day with him, I was very excited. That’s nearly 2 days together (with a work “break” in between)! This was truly a momentous event!
But when he arrived, he was irritated. Angry even. Roommate issues that have been perpetuating over time, and only now does he realize that a lot of those irritations that he’s let slide, are really NOT okay… in anyone’s book. With the introduction of a 3rd person into the household, he’s suddenly starting to realize that roommate #1 takes an awful lot of liberties with other people’s things. Mainly, the boy had his expensive motorcycle riding glasses taken. This did not set the tone for the rest of the night.
I was excited to have him over, but once he had his opportunity to vent, he started getting restless. He wanted to go out. He wanted to go DO something. I was a willing participant, but in this hellhole, there’s not a whole lot available to do in the middle of the week. Instead he got up, made himself some dinner, while I fiddle around with correcting the Elton John songs I downloaded that were mislabeled.
He didn’t sleep well, so when I left this morning for work, I left him there to try to rest some more.
I wish I knew what to do. Or what to say, in situations like that. I guess the only thing I can do is not get upset by the fact that he wasn’t the doting boyfriend he can be, and know that there will often be days just like this. If he can forgive me for my moods (which are often angry ones), I should be able to forget his (which are more depressed).
I <3 Neil Gaiman
Author: LeeJun 19
As I’m reading through the newest Entertainment Weekly mag, I’m crushed by the fact that not only does Doctor Who not make it into the top 100, there was a plethora of CRAP on the list. Which makes me angry. Any reality tv show other than American Idol should NOT be on the list, but hey, what the hell do I know.
But oh, that clever man, Neil, he goes and says that the Weeping Angels are #3 on his list of New Classic Monsters.
Thank you sir, for not only mentioning one of the BEST episodes ever, but for mentioning the show in the first place.
And yay for Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy and Neil’s Sandman made it in the top 50 of the new classic books list.
Despite the warnings
Author: LeeJun 16
My father has a way with words. I love the man, more than I could ever possibly love another human being. He’s done more for me and bailed me out of more stupid situations than I could ever possibly begin to count (let alone document). He’s a great guy and really honest with me too. I love him, but sometimes I think he misses the mark.
While I appreciate his advice regarding the boy, I have a feeling that he doesn’t know completely what’s going on. He listened to me bitch a little bit because I was upset, and all of a sudden I’m dating this co-dependent bastard who just wants someone to be his mom. I mean, I get it. I get what he’s saying. I’ve attached myself to a guy who seems to be too emotionally attached. But really, I can’t fault the guy when I’m the same way?
I’m a little taken aback by his future plans that include me. But none of it is so horrible that we can’t figure out a compromise… somewhere. And I know that I care deeply for the boy because I do flip out when I don’t get to see him more. I hate the fact that I only get to see him once a week, and if I’m lucky he’ll stay the night (or I’ll get to stay the night with him). Most of the time, we get to chat online or talk on the phone. It’s not super long distance, but it’s long distance enough to still suck.
I have my moments of weakness. When I think to myself that this was all just a bad idea. That getting into a relationship was a bad idea. That getting involved with him again was a bad idea. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my desire to see that things could be better… that things could be good. They can be. There’s a very large potential for it to be something really great. And I’ll admit something else too. I’m not opening up to him nearly as much as I would like. Is it bitterness from relationships past? Is it reluctance because of how things went the last time we tried to date? I’m not completely sure. All I know is that I’m going for it now.
And the conversation we had last night about what happened was a good one.
He doesn’t realize
Author: LeeJun 15
He has no idea how much it took for me to ask him to stay. He has no idea how hard it was for me to ask him not to go. I don’t think he’ll ever know how much it took for me to ask that of him and when he turned and left anyway… he’ll never know that I won’t ever ask him to stay again. Not under circumstances that are even remotely similar. It won’t matter, it seems. It can’t be worked through. It can’t be fixed. He’s still going to turn and leave.
So I just won’t ask him to stay.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And when I heard a motorcycle in the silence of the night, but loud enough for me to hear, I hoped it was him coming back. It wasn’t, and a little part of me is disappointed by my hope of romanticism that isn’t there… and might never be.
Who’s the pathetic one now?
Awwwww!
Author: LeeJun 13
I couldn’t resist. It was too cute. So now, I’m sharing, because it is THAT cute. 
more cat pictures
Trying something new
Author: LeeJun 13
So much to my chagrin, I decided to install Movable Type as a test. If you’re curious about what’s going on, and the frustration that has already began, you’re welcome to visit here.
It’s pretty to look at, the dashboard and such. But I’m having issues trying to figure out how to install other themes. I mean, WordPress makes it so easy. You download a theme. You put in into the theme folder as it’s own folder. You choose it as your theme. Tada! Done.
I stayed up FAR too late last night attempting to figure it out. I don’t care so much if it’s a “standard” theme. But I want it to at least be the one of my choosing. I have yet to figure out what I’m going to actually use that domain for anyway, but maybe if I can figure out how to make MT play nicely, I’ll use it as my “writer” site. Ah ha ha ha ha!
Me. Write! Now that would be good.
Nostalgic Gaming
Author: LeeJun 12
So back when I first started playing Pokemon Diamond (at the poking and prodding of a certain person *winks at Michiko*), I went through this crazed phase. Surprised?!? If you know me well enough, you know I do this with damn near everything, and eventually the phase (or as I call them obsessions) pass. This one, however, didn’t pass until I had at least ONE copy of each type of pokemon that was available. This included having to find a GBC (Gameboy Color for those of you non-gamers out there).
I purchased a used copy of Pokemon Crystal (Because it was prettier??? *shrug*) through ebay. It was pretty beat up on the label, but it played, so I didn’t complain. I also picked myself up a nice purple-y colored GBC which seemed to work pretty well too. It came with this fancy case, some connection chords and some other junk I didn’t pay attention to because I realized I’d actually have to *gasp*choke*sputter* purchase batteries!!
I hadn’t had a hankering to actually bother to play until the other day. I was sitting at home after the infamous Jury Duty (man, that is the most BORING event ever!) and I wanted to play something. I didn’t want to replay Pokemon Pearl (which is the same as Diamond with only slight differences in the uber you get at the end and some of the pokes you get during game play). I already beat Diamond and didn’t want to keep going. I was kind of blah about it. I had Emerald, and even Leaf Green, but they’re close enough in generation to Diamond/Pearl that they didn’t give me anything… different.
So I busted out the Crystal.
Only, I saved the game, nearly immediately, and found much to my dismay, that while the game played, it’s internal battery had bit the big one and wasn’t saving games. Now onto the fun of figuring out how to effing fix that shiz! Cause now I’m determined. Even if I never finish it, I’m determined to make the bastard work!
I found this link on my multi-hour long search on how to replace said battery. I then ran out immediately to Radio Shack. Only the guy seemed like he was a bit out of his element and referred me to somewhere else that might be able to solder the new battery back in. And this place was CLOSED! Epic phail!!
I went home, a little pissed at my inability to be able to play Crystal, and proceeded to play Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time. Now, I didn’t want to have to PAY anyone to fix this cause it would normally only take a few minutes, so I brought the damn thing into work and asked the maintenance boys if it were doable. They did it. Only I forgot my SP to test the thing out.
Tonight when I get home, I might lose myself in some good ol’ fashioned Pokemon. This damn thing better save, or I’m throwing it at the wall.
EDIT: The guys at work totally came through for me! TOTALLY! Pokemon Crystal works, and saves… and now I have my obsessive game for the next few weeks! WOOTAGE!!
EDIT 2: And my Gameboy Color actually DOES work, now that Crystal has a working and functional battery. YAY for everything being perfect and working right!
Hard to believe
Author: LeeJun 8
It’s strange to me, at times, to think that this boy is the same boy who wrote such things to me. He doesn’t seem to remember those days, as though they were just a figment of his imagination, and they’ve gone away. Or he woke from a dream, and as time passed, he simply forgot the details. Only they weren’t just details. I will always remember them. And a small part of me will always wonder, and often fear, to see or hear those words again.
I wish that I didn’t care for him so much. He’s no longer this boy who seemed so unattainable, not like he once was. He’s very real to me now. I see this different side of him that he wouldn’t let me see before. I’m not sure why, but he’s this real and tangible person whom I adore. I know that we can’t choose whom our hearts have decided to love… and I realize now, after the conversations I’ve had with the ex, as well as with the boy, that this is entirely true. The details don’t matter with either case, but the fact remains… it’s oh so true.
We had the most amazing weekend. Really, we did. But this one was different from last weekend. We talk, daily. As most people who are dating or boyfriend/girlfriend do. We just don’t get to see each other very often. It isn’t feasible for either of us to drive the nearly 50 miles for just a few hours. As much as I would love to, I simply can’t afford the gas. He rode his motorcycle to pick me up, I packed a few things, and went back to his place with him. We watched some UFC fights at the bar and I had fun. It was more fun that I would have thought. 5 of us also had shots, in two different time zones, in two states. And as stupid and cheesy as that sounds, it was the coolest thing ever. Ha! It’s a story I’ll tell people years from now, while sitting at a bar, laughing about those funny things we’ve done in life.
After UFC, I learned something about the boy that I didn’t really expect to find out. It’s something that I believed only the ex ever did. It was something I believed I would never find in another person, ever again. While it’s deeply personal, and even a little bit strange, I’m half tempted to share it anyway, despite the fact that most would be grossed out by it. It doesn’t matter, not really. The details don’t matter. What matters is that it didn’t bother him.
For the first time in my life, someone looked at me, mostly naked, and told me that most guys only get to think about having sex with the beautiful girl… and he was lucky that he got to. There are no words to describe how that makes anyone feel… ever. It can’t ever be recreated, not that moment. It will also be one of those moments I’ll always remember.