“cuz I listen 247/7”

July 11th, 2008 | Tags: ,

Here is where the internet has failed the world. This is the most PERFECT example of the reasons why reading comprehension and grammar are SO important. Because the children of today are writing emails like this. In case you don’t want to read it, I won’t burn your eyeballs with the atrocity that is this email, but I’m gonna make a little bit o’fun of this girl right now.

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I’m only 13 yearz old. (Really?? I totally forgot that ‘z’ comes after everything!) I love the Jonas Bros more than you no. (What’s really sad is that a lot of girls must think ‘no’ = ‘know’) Its is (uh, double reiteration for effect??) soe (Technically soe = Sony Online Entertainment, but that’s the gamer in me speaking) unfare (uhhh… right) that you gotta be 14 to meet them at Nfest (It’s ENDfest, ENDfest).Rulez (z again huh?) are stupider (didn’t they emphasize this in elementary school that it’s ‘more stupid’‘) than anything cuz everybody nos that jonas bros fans arent old people but w e are kids who respect and luv (*sigh*) what they bring to the world. All dees (I’m losing momentum… it hurts my eyes) girls are having there (apparently Mary didn’t bother to pay attention to English lessons, ever!) dads and other people who are old make vidseos (I’ll give her this typo) but its not fare cuz they arent (Is it too much to hope for punctuation??) the fans I am and my friends we are. (Huh??) You should change the contest rulez (*gouges eyesballs out*) because I deserve to meet them as more than anybody else. My mom sais (Please tell me you’re talking about the city in Egypt?!?) that I should start a petiton (petiton…) and get peeeple (This is what gets me, she spells this correctly once, and screws up the second time? WTH!) to sign for me and all the other REEL (Your friends are rolls of film?) fans of the Jonas brso. Whats 1079 fraid of? (It just keeps getting better.) Are 13 year olds dangerous more than 14 year olds? (I’m sorry, again in English pleeeze) I donʼt t think so. Isnot like I gonna murder nick or joe. Let me goe backstage and meet them Do a survey and youll see that me bein t13 isnot a problem to anyone more than it is a problem for the peeps of 1079. Nfest is wear my dreams will come true if you donʼt make me a problem by causing me to not win cuz I am to young whatever. All my friends agreed me with me says Jodi that I am the biggest fan so you see? I should win. Change the rules. 13 year olds me and others like me demand it before its way too late to make no difference to fans who want some backstage passes to win with the Jonas bros from our favorite station 1079 the Nd.  PS tell Doug Lazy and Kris K to give shoutouts to the Jonas bros cuz I listen 247/7. (247/7! Get it, if I add an extra 7, it totally makes my statement mean something more!)

I simply couldn’t read anymore. It was making my brain die. I mean, literally they were imploding. Maybe actually eating each other, just to stop the insanity and the atrocity that this email was filled with.

This is where the internet has failed. I remember when geocities was a long LONG address, but it was a free website. I remember not seeing ads everywhere. I remember having 5 different pages and each of them had some strange gif/jpg for a background. I remember being in chat rooms where people TYPED out their words. I remember when “lol” and “rofl” started. I rememer before blogs existed. So I know that in terms of information that exists on the net, and the ease of finding that information, the internet has made leaps and BOUNDS towards becoming a better place.

But this email is the perfect example of the failure of the internet. It became okay to type like this regularly, that grammar and punctuation were thrown out the window. It actually hurts, literally, to try to read this in some sense of coherence. I make typos too, we all do. But at least I can formulate a sentence that somewhat resembles coherency. This is… sad.

What’s more is that the parents never noticed that she writes papers like this? This is apparently the best she could muster? I mean really?

If at some point in my life, I get to do any hiring… I hope I never see Mary’s resume.

Plz 2 B getting jobz heer. KTHXBAI!


One Response to ““cuz I listen 247/7””

  1. jessica on July 12, 2008 4:10 pm

    What the hell just happened? I can’t even read that. It makes my brain melt. Is that how people think nowadays? I cannot imagine trying to write like that. *sigh*
    Welcome to the future of America.

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