In a state of thixotropy

An Amazing Birthday

So the boy bought me this wonderful stash of candy goodness… avoiding chocolate (and while I love chocolate like the next guy, he knows I’m much more a sugar person having a strange affinity for gummy candies especially). He also bought me this insane stash of book. Not just any books. But books he’s seen me wander around the bookstore with, desperately wanting to buy, but always putting it back because it’s just out of my price range for the minute.

He also got me this framed watercolor painting that his roommate did. He remembered the first time I saw all of Garnier’s paintings, how much I said I loved this one in particular. So he bought it for me. It’s being hung immediately when I get home. That to me, beyond the books and candy, means a whole lot. A whole lot.

I’ve quite thoroughly enjoyed having internet and being able to use my blazing fast computer again. How much I’ve missed having internet at home. That will definitely be one of the FIRST things I reestablish the second I get some money. The first.

There are some new pictures on Flickr. If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d add them to the post. Maybe later.

Tags: birthday, reflection, relationship, the boy
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One day closer

The infamous birthday is less than 24 hours away. It’s the birthday that is supposed to end all birthdays, right? I mean, I’m hitting the big three-oh! It’s this monumental life event. Although besides the birthday bash, nothing exciting is happening. There are no other life-altering events going on.

I mean, this is one of those traumatizing events though, for most women. I’m told I don’t look my age, and while flattering, doesn’t do any good for the physical parts of me that cannot seem to function quite the same way. If I could manage to get myself into a gym and tone up some of the slightly flabby bits, I might be able to work on transforming the body just a little bit, and helping keep my “youthful appearances.”

On the whole, I don’t really care that much. It’s a big event though. In a year I’ll have graduated with a degree (finally). The boy and I are planning on moving in together in Chico, where it has an almost “other world” feel to it. It’s surprising only because I hate Yuba City… hate hate hate hate hate it. I hate the guy I rent my apartment from (because he’s a douche bag). I hate how the city was planned poorly, and the “old boys” who run the place refuse to allow changes to make things… better.

Regardless. I will be moving… no matter what. I will be making some necessary changes in my life in order for things to be better. I need better. I’m so tired of struggling, and barely getting by. I think a little bit of comfort would be nice. I’m hoping 30 brings that… eventually.

I guess it’s time to face the music and… *gasp* grow up.

Tags: contemplation, friends, life
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Movie Meme

1. Go to IMDB.com and look up 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Post three official IMDB “Plot Keywords” for each.
3. Hey guys, guess the movies!

1. End Of The World / Destiny / Change History Donnie Darko (Kappadarappa)
2. Child Hero / Family Secret / Secret Society (a combination of movies) Harry Potter Series (Lisana)
3. Hawaii / Monster / Indestructible Lilo and Stitch (Lisana)
4. Gang / Landlady / Axe Kung Fu Hustle (Kap)
5. Apartment Building / Love Triangle / Letter Writing Try Seventeen (me)
6. Forbidden Love / Boom Box / High School Say Anything (Kappadarappa)
7. 1930′s / High Society / Employer Employee Relationship (Was made in the 30′s) My Man Godfrey (me)
8. New York / Cow / Friendship Someone Like You (me)
9. Spanish Civil War / Mythical / Maze Pan’s Labyrinth (Kap and Lisana)
10. Revenge / Assassin / Dystopic Future V for Vendetta (Kap)

If you want hints, I’ll gladly give them… well, within reason. Of course like my friend said in her post, to me these seem really obvious, but I’m guessing that won’t be the case for everyone else…

For those who know me better than others, they are not in any particular order. They were just movies I thought of as time went on. Second, there are some pretty obscure movies too. No named ones that not many people will know off the top of their head. Good luck though! I’m curious to see how this turns out.

Tags: fun, meme, movies
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Texting… gone sappy!

Me to The Boy
Sent: August 20th, 2008 @ 4:52pm
“Baby. Baby. Baby. *pokes you in the arm* Baby. Baby. *tries to annoy you* Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. *kisses you on the cheek and runs off*

The Boy to Me
Sent: August 20th, 2008 @ 5:49pm
“You’re so cute. I’ll call you soon”

The Boy to Me
Sent: August 21, 2008 @ 4:06am
“Baby! (Pokes you in the shoulder) I hate to wake you (gives you a little wink) I wanted to tell you something (smile)… I just Love the shit out of you. ”

Seriously… So damn cute. I got that last one when I woke up in the morning. *sigh*

Tags: relationship, texting, the boy
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Happy

I spent a pretty decent amount of time after getting home looking over some old OpenDiary entries. I read through a lot of them, as they were from 2001. It was a difficult year for me, filled with love, pain, loss of my job, disappointment, desperation and a plethora of other emotions I can’t even begin to convey in words.

While I read it seemed like I was reading a story someone wrote and told me it was my life. I guess that’s the point of journaling, for that opportunity later in life, when you’re not even remotely the same person anymore, when you can look back and read it all and laugh at yourself (and others of course!).

As I read through some of the relationship-y bits, it made me that much more appreciative for the way things have been going with the boy. I’m so very happy because of him, and with him. We all have bad days… sure. But he makes so many of them better by simply being… him.

Tags: love, nostalgia, the boy
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“The Talk”

Often, the boy makes comments about being roommates with Garnier later on in life, after the lease on the current place is up. Once they’ve both been fed up with Big Red (the 3rd roommate) and decide they’re going elsewhere. Garnier is considered a “rich kid” by every means of the word. He’s so used to living well, spending money like crazy, that he often forgets that he no longer lives at home, and his mom is NOT there to pick up after him. At some point, in casual conversation with the boy, he mentioned how Garnier’s parents were actually thinking of purchasing a house for him. Who does that?? Whatever.

So I guess when the topic of this parent-purchased home came up between Garnier and the boy, the boy said, hey, if you want a roommate to help with expenses or anything, you can always hit me up. My heart sank a little bit, because I was hoping that things between us, later on down the road of course, would mean that WE could be living together… without other people.

*Insert Sad Panda*

But I know even thinking about it could mean potential disaster. I don’t want to push us any further into serious than we’re both ready for. I think about it, however, because we both are getting older, and we’ve both made our mistakes… and I’m getting to the point in my life where I’m wondering if I ever want to have kids.

Last night, via text message, we had an interested conversation regarding this very subject. He’s been actively looking into which colleges to consider for a Master’s program. I did some work, but knew that it wasn’t something I needed to stress myself about right now.

Although I did make up my mind. The second I’ve graduated, the search for a new job will ensue. And the packing will also begin. And I’m moving. I’m not going to stay in his hellhole anymore. I’m not going to commute to this horrid job anymore. I’m going to get the hell away from all of the things that make me miserable in life.

So he started looking into Chico State. He started looking into housing costs in the Chico area. He said I’d need a roommate, but that the cost was significantly less than in the Humbolt area. I told him I hate roommates, and there was probably one person I’d consider living with. He said, “I thought about that too. We’ll need to sit down and talk about that at some point.”

I guess I couldn’t imagine that he would think about those things. Why? I don’t know. I just think I’m one of those irrational girls who think that each guy she falls in love with will be her “knight” and everything will go perfectly. I know better, which is why I haven’t made any rash decisions regarding our current living situation. I did tell him that I didn’t want to be so far from him all the time. He seemed to agree with me.

We’re also working on figuring out our “anniversary” date. We don’t really have one right now. It’s all so very weird to me, to not have A date to use or reference. So, this weekend we might figure that out. Ahh… to be in love again… in a sappy cheesy weird sorta way, it really is the best thing ever.

Tags: life, relationship, school, the boy
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The mind of a girl

I spend entirely too much time contemplating what makes people do the things that they do. This weekend inevitably ended up being the perfect example of why some women give other women a bad name. I’ll explain.

After a handful of trying and otherwise relationship-taxing weekend, this weekend was meant for me and the boy… mostly alone, but mostly to just enjoy the fact that just because we have a title doesn’t mean we can’t go out on… *gasp* dates! The original plan was to spend the night in San Francisco, taking him to some of my favorite places (Japan Center, Fisherman’s Wharf, possibly Chinatown, and I was told about this pizza place on Haight). He wanted to get away. I wanted us to get away there. I love the city. I love big cities. I miss Los Angeles more than anyone would ever be able to know, or comprehend. So being in San Francisco is like having a little bit of my small town, with a whole lot of my big city, and sharing that part of my life with the person I love is an amazing experience. I haven’t had much of it since I’ve moved back here. There were also a lot of San Francisco trips with friends while me and the boy were first talking.

We went to see Pineapple Express on Friday night with one of his roommates and mate. It was a pretty funny movie. But as with all movies of that kind, it’s much funnier the first half when there’s very little point or plot. Trying to tie together all the elements makes for a shoddy and unfunny second half. The boy paid, which is fine. I don’t have a crazy feminist inside who says he can’t pay for a movie, but knowing that he’s not working makes me feel bad when he does things like that.

Saturday morning we went out to breakfast. It was on the way back to his place that he thought going to San Francisco might not be a good idea. I was so excited to go. I had my heart set on it, so I suggested we just go, but not stay the night. Make it a day trip instead.

Someone forgot to inform us that it was going to be FREEZING in the middle of the summer in the bay area. We had clam chowder in a bread bowl. We walked around and took cute pictures (which I will post as soon as I can).

It was Saturday night that the fun begins, and will be the main focus. (more…)

Tags: adventures, musings, the boy, weekend
Posted in it's called life! | 4 Comments »

WP Themes

Now that the WP Themes Directory is available… I might play around with some theme design. I mean, there used to be some awesome ones out there. Maybe I’ll play with making them usable in the newest versions or something. Because there are still some older theme’s I’d love to be able to use, but alas, I cannot with it in their current state.

But I’m thinking I might play around with creating some myself. There are some decent ones there, but a lot of ones that I would never even consider using for any application… ever. Maybe some versatility will help. We’ll see how motivated I am at doing this.

Tags: site, techie, WP
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Soul… persons

Amongst my closest friends, there are aspects of my life (mainly my online life) that they know nothing about. There is a reason for this, and the reason is meaningless for anyone but me. There is a certain amount of insight into me as a person here though, that I’m almost sad that these friends will never get to see. I bitch to these friends when the boy makes me angry. I laugh loudly with these friends at Starbucks when someone farts and the smell chases all of us around the corner. These same friends are crude, tattooed, pierced, weird, different… but we all fit somehow. But they do not know about this place… and it’s highly unlikely they ever will. Except for one, but I’ll get to him shortly.

It’s been a long time, and the last person I can really remember having any sort of actual connection with is the boy… but every now and again, you venture across a person that you just… *click* with.

Lemme backtrack a little bit though. When it comes to friendships and relationships… basically all human interaction… I have always believe that there are those people who are meant to come into our lives and somehow change it. Even the tiniest bit. There are also those people with whom we’re meant to come in contact with, essentially.

I’ve also always been a firm believer that not all soul mates are meant to be literal mates. That sometimes the friendships we make can be more fulfilling than the intimate/sexual relationships we may or may not be having.

That being said, last night I had the most amazing conversation with someone who was more an aquaintance than a friend up until last night. It was the kind of conversation where everything just clicked. We think similarly. We have similar types of plans for life. We have similar places we want to see in the world. Two totally different people… and both struggling with the same issues. It was definitely a soul mate moment.

At one point for a split second, I wondered why I couldn’t have met him at a different time in life under different circumstances. Suddenly all I could think of was the boy, and how much I loved him. As I drove home, I wanted nothing more than to know that the boy was there… knowing he wouldn’t be. Because it was that kind of night. The kind of conversation where you begin to appreciate those good things you do have in life. The good friends. The good family. The good memories and good times. And I wanted the boy there to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him.

Just like I’ll always love and appreciate the new friend.

Tags: life, reflection
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Wordcamp San francisco

I’m very sad that Wordcamp San Francisco just happens to be on the only weekend this month (besides my birthday) that I already have plans… that require me to be out of town… in the other direction. *sigh*

I had been keeping tabs on it too, hoping to get to go. And I finally find out when it’s going to be, and I will inevitably be shafted and not be able to go. Maybe next year. *heavy sigh*

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