What I want to do…

September 18th, 2008 | Tags: ,

What I’d like to be doing right now is enjoying the new episode of House that I still haven’t seen. What I would like to be doing is sleeping, while enjoying the episode of House I still haven’t seen. And on top of that, I’d like to sleep and NOT have to wake up in the morning and go to work, while enjoying the episode of House I still haven’t seen.

That’s just not going to happen, so I’ll stop complaining.

Let’s talk about school for a minute though. Let’s talk about how much of a work load I’ve got and I’m attempting to stay ahead of the game, and while I’m not behind, I’m not caught up or on par either. It’s driving me absolutely batty, but I know that if I don’t at least try for all A’s, then my chances of bringing my GPA up high enough to even be considered for grad school are out the window.

I’m going to have to figure out this whole money situation as well. I’m not hurting, not yet. I’m working on trying to maintain this positive attitude with regard to getting stuff paid off, and all this other nonsense. I mean. I’m slightly ahead of the game right now, but it’s still kind of disheartening to see how little money I have stashed into savings for the remainder of the semester. I just have to remember that I do get another check for financial aid as the semester progresses, so I’m not completely screwed. Not completely.

The world as I know it has ceased to be. My boyfriend (with whom I’m quite happy with) has ceased to actually be a boyfriend since school has started. We maintain this distance while we’re at school, which is actually okay… but this distance has overflowed into the weekend… and I’m starting to miss my actual boyfriend, rather than my classmate (whom I get to see often). It’s very hard to explain without it coming across as rather childish and, well, high school-y. But I promise it makes perfect sense in my head.

My favorite class of the semester is definitely American Sign Language 1. Somewhere inside of me, this class has awoken this weird desire. I mean, I actually love the class. I haven’t loved any class in a long time. It’s not because it’s easy, or unchallenging. It’s just so unbelievably different, and I feel as though I’m accomplishing something.

All the psych classes make me feel like I’m relearning all the same shit. Over, and over, and over, and over again… ad nauseum. It’s really sad. I’ve heard multiple concepts be introduced in class, and I can’t keep track of which instructor/professor was the first one to talk about it… It’s like they’ve all gathered together just to confuse the shit out of me.

I’m on sensory overload. My class load is too much, I realize this now. But my determination to not be at Sac State for a 5th semester is keeping me going. I’m just tired. Tired all the time.

I’ve forgotten to write. Because almost all of my waking free time is spent with some stupid text book in front of my face. This weekend? I have 3 papers to write. Nothing big… none of them so intense that I couldn’t do them all in a single day. Each of them so entirely different from the others that I might just have to take an hour break in between to prepare my brain for the shifting of gears.

How the HELL am I going to do next semester with 18 units, when I can hardly function this semester with 16. *sigh* No clue. I’ll figure it all out though. Eventually.

For now, I’m heading to bed… somewhat earlier than normal.

P.S. My now fixed cat, after being depressed for 5-6 days is finally acting normal again (thank goodness). Her little doped up face made me cry, on a number of occasions as I felt the effects of my selfishness and inability to deal with her in heat… and it took it’s toll. I’ve always had fixed animals, and I don’t know if I can handle going through that again. She’s eating well again, and has gained some weight back. She’s jumping playing and acting normal. Yay. I missed my love muffin. ha!


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