Harbor of Learning

October 28th, 2009 | Tags: , ,

Working here at the Small Town Hospital, like many other hospitals, the staff have to take these little quizzes to make sure we remember and know about things like airborne or bloodborne icky goo stuff, how to handle fires (electrical and chemical), and a handful of other things. Since I am not part of the licensed/Doctorly/patient-take-carey staff, my quizzes consist of only a handful.

It’s lucrative business. I’m not sure how the whole thing works, or even how well it actually gauges knowledge of anything, but it’s really rather silly. Each employee has to take them yearly.

I can honestly say that I don’t even think they change any of the questions. You have to pass each quiz (which is anywhere between 5 and 8 questions) with an 80% or higher to move onto the next one. At the end of each quiz it tells you which answers you got correct and which you got incorrect. Jot these down, cause you’ll use them later. Now comes the tricky part. Take the quiz again and change the wrong answers (usually they’re True/False questions) and resubmit.

Again I say, I don’t know how accurate it is at actually gauging anyone’s knowledge or understanding of the material. I personally don’t even believe that the questions change over the years.

There is one question, though, that I get wrong every time. Not because I’m an idiot, but because it is genuinely wrong. Taking into consideration that the quizzes and the questions were created many many years ago. And the questions have been slightly modified to reflect the current standards of the healthcare world, some need to be updated.

The question is a True/False. It simply says: The customer is always right. I answer false. False. False. False. Every time. False. The answer to get 100% on the quiz is True. But alas, that is not, realistically, the correct answer.

Working in retail and food service, I remember this mantra being pounded into my head from long ago. As time passed and lawsuits increased, this mentality has changed. The customer is NOT always right. A lot of times they’re not even close to being right. They’re in the “wrong” ballpark and they’re batting a 1000.

All of my schooling has taught me a lot because the field of Psychology is ever changing. It’s so hard to point your finger and say “yes” and be absolutely positive that that is the answer. There’s this grey area. Especially because the majority of Psychology involves the ever-flawed human. Things change within a person and their thought processes daily, hourly, etc. Let alone attempting to take into consideration the vast differences between each of us. We can find like-minded people to befriend, but there is no other person who thinks and feels exactly the same as I do. Or you.

So the “customer is always right” is inherently flawed in it’s very nature.

Consider each person’s level of knowledge. We can all have gone to the same schools, got the same grades and been taught all of the same information, but each of us will remember and retain different bits and parts. Nothing wrong with that. Until it comes down to who is “right” and who is “wrong”. Especially if those are the ONLY two choices. When you put something as black and white as right and wrong into the mix, you throw the proverbial monkey wrench into the mix.

Customer is complaining that they were treated unfairly by staff. Okay. That is their perception. If looking at exactly what Staff Person did, and how they talked and treated the Customer nothing on paper is wrong, does that mean that Customer was truly wronged? Yes, but only in that it is their perception and who are we to judge and decide how a person thinks and feels outside of ourselves. If, however, Customer said, “Staff Person called me an asshole” is Customer then right? If legitimately Staff Person did not call Customer an asshole, this mantra and belief that ‘the customer is always right’ puts Staff Person at fault 100% of the time. Without question. Without investigation. Without fail.

Let’s say for arguments sake that Staff Person did call Customer an asshole. Does it immediately put Staff Person at fault and should then be punished? No. There is always a story. There are also always 2 sides to a story such as this one. What if Customer called Staff Person’s mom a whore? What if Customer threw something at Staff Person’s head while they were trying to walk away from the otherwise heated situation? What if Staff Person had just had enough with Customer’s bad attitude and it was just bad timing? What if Staff Person has now worked two doubles (being on the floor doing patient care for a total of 24-hours) and snapped at a normally regular situation? Staff Person is still human, after all.

As human’s we’re expected to act professional at all times, especially in a service industry such as medical care. The problem is, the customer is not always right. Over the years I have had to curb and tone down my initial instinct to fly off the handle, declare unfailing stupidity, and scream my fool head off. I still have little to no patience for stupidity, but I also have to keep myself in check with regard to these declarations.

And when I am the customer wanting my wrong to be righted, I will gladly accept that I am not entirely right and often working on limited knowledge of what I’m wanting fixed. This does not make me infallible. Nor does it make any of you.

One day closer

August 27th, 2008 | Tags: , ,

The infamous birthday is less than 24 hours away. It’s the birthday that is supposed to end all birthdays, right? I mean, I’m hitting the big three-oh! It’s this monumental life event. Although besides the birthday bash, nothing exciting is happening. There are no other life-altering events going on.

I mean, this is one of those traumatizing events though, for most women. I’m told I don’t look my age, and while flattering, doesn’t do any good for the physical parts of me that cannot seem to function quite the same way. If I could manage to get myself into a gym and tone up some of the slightly flabby bits, I might be able to work on transforming the body just a little bit, and helping keep my “youthful appearances.”

On the whole, I don’t really care that much. It’s a big event though. In a year I’ll have graduated with a degree (finally). The boy and I are planning on moving in together in Chico, where it has an almost “other world” feel to it. It’s surprising only because I hate Yuba City… hate hate hate hate hate it. I hate the guy I rent my apartment from (because he’s a douche bag). I hate how the city was planned poorly, and the “old boys” who run the place refuse to allow changes to make things… better.

Regardless. I will be moving… no matter what. I will be making some necessary changes in my life in order for things to be better. I need better. I’m so tired of struggling, and barely getting by. I think a little bit of comfort would be nice. I’m hoping 30 brings that… eventually.

I guess it’s time to face the music and… *gasp* grow up.

If life were like WoW

April 22nd, 2008 | Tags: , ,

Usually when I’m driving, I start thinking to myself how much life would be easier if it were more like World of Warcraft. I mean, yesterday, after work, I made a special trip an hour north of my home. Why? Because I needed to try to buy Poly Pellets, or for those of you non-craft people, they’re the beanie baby filler beans. Why? Because I’m making a couple of crochet amigurumi dolls for the Colusa County Fair. That and since I’m quickly gaining poor status again, I decided to make the boy his birthday present rather than buying him something.

While driving on some backwoods highways, I had directions. But they didn’t necessarily tell me how far I needed to drive before finding my exits/turns. All I could think was how nice it would be to be able to /shout Is the 162 up ahead? and get a /tell response back of “Yeah, just another 5 miles or so.”

And then I started to think about the other aspects of how WoW life is just SO much better than real life. I mean, how great would it be to inspect people when they’re afk from life, and you can see if they have neurological disorders, psychosis issues, their ethnicity (mostly to avoid foot-in-mouth moments). I mean, we wander through real life, having to “figure it out” and man, MMO’s are just designed to be SO much easier. I can /who a person and find out their face AND class. I don’t have to associate with anyone of the Horde side, which eliminates about half of the people I run into. It’s not even a matter of I don’t have to associate with them, but the language barrier means that we’re just ignored, and I ignore them. No hard feelings. No issues or concerns. I just don’t bother.

And confrontations can be taken out during PVP and Arena type situations. Just remove all frustrations by whipping someone’s ass, and it’s all okay after awhile.

And when I’m not in the mood, I can just /quit and be done with life for a little while.

Yeah. As time goes on… I start to think just how much better it would be if real life were more reflective of life in WoW. I really think I’d adjust a whole lot better. When I’m bored with my current life, I could just start over again from scratch.

I had a moment

March 30th, 2008 | Tags: , ,

And it wasn’t a good one. I think I might have flipped out on him. I might have forgotten something I told him. Specifically that I asked him to be something stable in his life while everything else was so unstable. I offered to be there for him, in a “above and beyond” sort of way.

I said it because I meant it.

Today, I forgot I meant it. Today, I cared only about me.

I’m not sure if I ruined everything. I’m going to back off and let him deal with his stuff. I almost wanted nothing to do with him anymore. I spent most of my day on the phone with The BFF hoping that she might be able to help me sort it out. In playing the devil’s advocate, and after speaking to a male friend, I started to realize a few things.

I don’t want him out of my life. I jumped the gun when I flipped the hell out. I should really take some time to think about things before I say something. Especially since his first text message to me this afternoon, he called me “sweet pea.” Damn.

Open mouth, insert foot. The story of my effing life.

Words of Wisdom

March 24th, 2008 | Tags: , ,

There’s a certain point in life, when everything changes. When the whole world seems to flip over on end, and then somehow it rights itself. Then everything that once didn’t make sense, suddenly seems to make sense. Usually in my life, this trigger is an event. Something happens to me. Someone leaves. Someone enters. Something changes, and I reflect on the lesson I needed or at least should have learned.

This time it’s different. This time it’s not because of him that I’m doing this massive overhaul of… well, myself. He’s definitely a part of it. He’s the catalyst. But it’s not because he’s leaving. It’s not because he’s entering. It’s because he is who he is, and he holds nothing back when he’s curious to know me. He asks questions that people don’t tend to ask, and I answer them willingly. He probes and prods and I let him, because there’s this deeper connection that the two of us seem to share. It makes no sense. I can’t make sense of it, no matter how hard I try. No matter how many people I talk to, I just can’t seem to understand what he is, and what’s he’s given me. I doubt that I’ll ever find the words.

I’m not sure the measure of our current relationship. I don’t know what title we hold, if any. I don’t know where we stand in the grand scheme of things, and it’s okay. We’re trying to take it slow. We’re trying to make sure that there are no huge surprises. We’re being honest with each other, and enjoy each other’s company in the meantime. Despite the amount of time I do get to spend with him, it never seems to be enough. I never have enough time to talk to him. I never have enough time to answer all of his questions. We can spend hours on the phone, talking. Or hours on the yahoo, chatting. And there never seems to be enough time. I can’t get enough of him, in more ways than just the physical. I just want to be near him, touch him, talk to him, hear him all the time. It seems pathetic, to feel this strongly for a person that, in reality, I hardly know.

He’s opened my eyes, to aspects of my past, that I didn’t realize were truths. That’s not to say that I would never have realized them. I might have. He’s just made me face some things. Particularly with regard to my past relationships.

He compliments me, constantly. If it were anyone else I might ask them to stop, because it seems over-the-top. Sometimes even excessive. He tells me that I’m intelligent, beyond my years. Beyond most people. He is of the opinion that I’m more intelligent than he is. Than most. He is also in the habit of telling me how beautiful I am. Pointing out parts of my physical body that he adores. He tells me that I have this intense energy and focus, almost all the time. That when I set my mind to something, I stop at nothing until I have, or achieve, whatever it is. Really, he’s telling me nothing I haven’t heard before, from various people, over the years, again and again. He asked, “Why is it different when I say them?” At first I could only say, “I don’t think I know.” As I stared into the mostly empty field next to my apartment, the answer came to me. I fought the tears as I realized exactly why his compliments are different than everyone else’s.

No one wants to believe they were insignificant. No one wants to admit that they meant little to the person they spent so much time with, or even lived with. No one wants to face the fact that maybe… just maybe… you were temporary. The great epiphany involved my realizing that in all of my past relationships, even the would-be relationships, I was merely an escape. I was their adventure. I was this different, unique, interesting girl who came along and caused a whirlwind of emotion. I was crazy, zany, intense, weird… different. I was never the long-term girl. I was never meant to be with any of them forever.

The difference with him… and why his words touch me so much more… is that I’m not his escape, nor am I his adventure.

Of course I don’t want to lose him. Not now. Not that I’ve finally found him.

It was a night full of realizations. It was a night of self-discovery. Prompting a need and a desire to spend some time alone, with a notebook, with my computer, with some ability to write… because I have some soul searching to do. I have some truths to discovery for myself. Later in the night, I told him that in the short time we’ve known each other he has taken the opportunity to get to know me better than my ex ever did, in three years. I explained that it was a foreign experience for me and I’m not used to it.

“Just because you’re not used to it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.”

What could I do at this point, but cry. Nothing. So I cried.

And now… I search my soul for the answers… and hope that I never lose this boy… he’s changed my life for the better…