Minor Irritations
Well, I suppose they’re not really minor irritations if I’m going to sit here and write about them.
The Phone Book
I realize that this publication is supposed to be a “service” but it should be a service that you sign up for or can opt out of it. I so rarely ever use the actual book since the internet solves a lot of that for me. And when my internet isn’t working properly, my cell phone allows me to do internet searching if necessary. I figure it’s just a waste of paper. So when they deliver the stupid book, why do the neighbors insist on putting it on my step when I clearly do not want it. I didn’t ask for it, and I’m not going to go out of my way to bring it in and throw it away. The phone book people can take it back. Or the person who keeps putting it on my step can take it. Today, I had had enough, so I threw it somewhere. Don’t care where. The rain will take care of it tonight.
Church People
I understand you go to church and I appreciate your desire to do a service to your god, however, knocking on my door is not doing this service to your god so leave me the hell alone. Don’t knock on my door and don’t leave your fliers. I don’t want it and again, it’s a waste of resources.
IMDB Boards
I get that not everyone is a fan of everything, but I remember when the IMDB.com board were actually where you got information about various things. Anymore it’s just a bitchfest, and a petty childish one at that. Really? You don’t like the show? Then why are you trolling the forums stirring shit?? I guess some people have nothing better to do with their time… like me. ha!
My shitty upstairs neighbors
I hate them. It’s not just dislike it’s downright hatred. Which does consume a lot of energy to hate, but at this point, I just don’t care. The woman is a piece of shit who is raising her daughter to be a disrespectful piece of shit. The owner of the complex offered me a different apartment so I could get “peace and quiet.” No. You don’t reward the lady who’s an asshole, you punish her. Why should I have to pack all of my things and move to a more expensive apartment when she can’t remember to not let her daughter throw rocks at the walls? Or not take her shoes off while she stomps (not runs, stomps) around in the kitchen? I get she’s a child, but take her shoes off! And the yelling! This woman has the manliest voice to start off with, but she insists on yelling at everyone, all the time, at all hours of the night. I seriously hate her.
Bad Dreams
They always seems to put me in a strange mood when I have them right before I wake up. When I dream about someone being rude or mean to me, or I dream about almost falling off of a building… it doesn’t bode too well with me during my actual waking hours. This one has probably made me the most irritated. heh.
Strange place in life
I’ve been in this weird limbo state lately. There are moments when I miss the boy, but it’s not any one thing in particular. It’s the friendship and companionship that I think I miss the most. There was a good dynamic between the two of us, despite the obvious lack of relationship chemistry.
I had a dream about another ex. Doesn’t really matter who. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. My cat was peeing on his carpet and he didn’t seem to care. I went to get her and stop her, but realized there was no litter box for her (for some reason). She wandered into another room and I woke up.
I had a dream about 2 weeks ago about a professor. Male. It was really weird. I don’t even know if I can recall all of it, but it was almost sexual, but not really. Very strange. Very weird. Left me wondering if I was disturbed in the head or something.
I’ve been a bit of a fangirl lately, though I’m not quite sure I’m ready to admit what it is I’m been fangirl-ing it about. I know the irrationality of it. I know that it’s for some underlying reason that I have yet to understand even myself. It’s some sick indulgence that serves no purpose whatsoever. And yet, I’ve watched the same movie about 3 times a night for the last week. Same. Movie. It’s rather pathetic. Mostly it’s background noise, but this mini-fangirl moment is melding through into my phone. I think really, it’s regression in it’s worst form. Though I am NOT qualified to diagnose anyone, let alone myself, that’s really what I think it is. It’s like going back in time, and reliving those parts of my childhood I felt I had little control over.
This realization doesn’t make it any better, or less pathetic. It just makes me a weirder fangirl. *sigh*
I’m looking forward to my Charlie Brown Xmas with Jenjen. It should be a good week. I get that week off (thank goodness) and it’s the first week after the worst semester of school ends.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a pass across all classes this semester. The anxiety and the stress and the bouts of severe depression has taken it’s toll. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get through by the skin of my teeth. Barely but enough. That’s all I care about. Barely, but enough.
Filed under it's called life! | Comment (0)Strange Dreams
I had a weird dream last night. I’m not sure if it was two dreams smushed together to become one big long dream, or if it was just one big one. There was a funny little bit at the end though, which I found highly amusing, and I forced myself awake, just so I would remember it. And then I wanted to go back TO the dream, and failed to do so. I’m glad I finally got a decent night’s sleep.
For those 3 of you who read, I’m trying to quit smoking again. I was an emotional wreck for the better part of yesterday, and I can’t seem to figure out why. So many things have been going on, mainly the change in birth control (different hormone), the quitting smoking, and well, just all sorts of other things going on too. It’s kind of unnerving. Maybe it was a culmination of everything with lack of sleep and exhaustion pushing me over the edge. But I was not in a good place. And I was crying for no reason. This is not normal for me. Not normal at all.
This weekend should prove to be fun and interesting, as I’m taking out one of those things that I do so love to do when in public and group settings. Not smoking is really one of my favorite pasttimes, as it kills boredom like you wouldn’t believe. Instead, I’m going to see if I can make it stick this time, for more than 5.5 months.
I have yet to call my parents and ask them for money. I’m slightly terrified, not because they’re going to be mad at me. I’m sure they’ll be understanding and wonderful as they always are. I just hate the idea that somewhere I screwed up, yet again, and couldn’t adjust my lifestyle to the rising gas prices. I’m going to offer to pay the money back, and maybe it will make me feel less guilty. I think tonight I’m going to finally have to ask for it, as I need it before next Friday if I want to be able to pay any of my bills on time… and have gas money to get TO work.
The boy was very sweet last night, while I was having some crazy emotional breakdown. I explained what was going on, and he could tell I was rather… snappy. I could tell to, so I apologized and got off the phone. It was best to just not talk to anyone last night, tbh. I wasn’t in a very good place. I did, however, wake up this morning feeling much better. Though I feel like I’m on crack right now because of this patch. Wow. Is it 4:30pm yet??
The dream will be in the more section, for anyone who might be curious.
Filed under it's called life! | Comment (1)
